I have a job!!

As a hostess! (No, not the heavily processed dessert cake.)


I work at a restaurant in Nashville, and I've been there for the last month or so. 


Is what I've always dreamed of?


Nope. 


Is it good enough for now?


Hellz to the yeah! 


It's funny. I feel really good because I have a job. I like the fact that I have somewhere to be early in the morning. That I'm contributing to society. That I'm "making it rain." (In dollar bills, but you know, whatever.) 


But I feel embarrassed also. I graduated from college. I have a degree (albeit worthless it seems) in journalism and a minor in Latin American studies. I worked at a newspaper. I worked at a non-profit that helped kids with their literacy skills. And now I'm a hostess? I went to college for four years, garnered all that experience and the best I could do was a hostess? 


It helps knowing I'm not alone. According to this study done by the Center for College Affordability and Productivity, 17 million Americans with college degrees are in occupations that do not require college degrees. For instance almost 30 percent of flight attendants have college degrees. (The woman who just handed you a snack for the flight? She graduated with honors in Spanish literature.)


Or 25 percent of amusement and recreation attendants. (That guy who just latched you on to Splash Mountain at Disney World? Yup, he probably majored in psychology with a post-bac in What The Hell Did I Do To Deserve This.) 


The list goes on and on. 13 percent of waiters and waitresses, 16 percent of bartenders, 13 percent of receptionists. 


I want to find these people and be friends!


Good thing I know where to look. 

LIFE IS HARD

That's what she said!!


But I digress...


LIFE IS HARD. But not impossible. I am still jobless. Hell, I couldn't get a seasonal job at Macy's. A SEASONAL JOB AT MACY'S.


Not that I'm bitter or anything...


So what's next? 


Well, for one, after I failed to land a gig as a sales clerk at the mega-corporate department store I decided I NEED to leave Nashville. I need to go and think and hopefully, a new environment will help.


So where am I going on this "Eat, Pray, Love" vacation? Italy? India? 


NOPE. Oakland, California! 


Cause nothing says finding yourself like visiting one of the murder capitals of the U.S.! 


But yeah, I'm going to go visit my sister and family back on the West Coast. 


Here's hoping for the best! 


And that I start writing in this more often... Bad Tati, BADDDD. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

So I read this article about how writing out what you're thankful for, in detail, increases your happiness and well-being by a significant percentage, according to various studies. 


So I wanted to try it out and see if it works!


What I'm thankful for in no particular order:


-Being healthy: Everything works! 


-Sweet potatoes: Delicious and SO easy to make. 


-Netflix AND Hulu: I don't have a TV so these two are a Godsend. 


-My amazing Mami: She's unconditionally loving and supportive of me and everything I do. I'd be completely and totally lost without her. 


-My sister: She drives me crazy and keeps me sane all at once.


-My brother and sister-in-law and my three wonderful nephews: Me and my brother aren't as close as we use to be but I hope that one day we get back to that. I know he loves and cares about me and I hope he knows how much I love and care about him.


-Coffee!: OMG, it should be called the Elixir of Life.


-Not having to worry about paying back student loans: I AM SO LUCKY! Financial aid, by way of scholarships and grants, was very generous to me and I was provided a free college education.  


-Friends who still care: Y'all rock!


-Mircrowaves: Cause who feels like cooking EVERY DAY??


-The boyfriend: He makes me laugh, he lets me cry and we just mesh astoundingly well. It's unnatural. :)

"If I knew what I was doing, I'd be doing it."

I left my old job and came to Music City a.k.a. Nashville. No, I am not one of the hundred's of thousand's of people who come here looking to find music stardom. Nope, I'm just hoping for a regular 9- to- 5 that'll help me grow as a person and figure out WHAT IN THE WORLD I am suppose to be doing with my life.

I can think of the happiest time in my life and the saddest time in my life and even the okay'est time in my life. Right this moment, at the stark old age of 22, is most definitely the most LOST time of my life. 


If you're reading this, have you ever felt this way? Are you currently feeling this way too? If you are, know someone is TOTALLY sympathetic to your situation. I wish and hope only the best for you. I understand.

This IS my life afterall...

I did it. I left my job.


Well, almost. I gave my two weeks notice. Everything went very smoothly when I announced I was leaving. The higher-ups understood my position and have wished me all the best. I am EXTREMELY lucky to be part of such a supportive collective.


I feel relief and am at total peace with my decision.


But I am a TAD bit worried. I am unemployed. In a bad job market.


Sort of. Although the unemployment rate is at 9 percent, the unemployment rate for those with bachelor's degrees is at 4.3 percent.


It might take a while but that's OK. I CAN DO THIS.


Short term goal: Get everything in line so that I can leave two to three weeks from now.


Long-short term goal: Find a job AND/OR look into furthering my education, if I deem it necessary.


Long-term goal: Be happy.

You Are Capable of Much More Than Being Looked At

Isn't that awesome? 


I first encountered this phrase while reading this blog: Beauty Redefined. 


Beauty Redefined was started by twin sisters, Lindsay Kite and Lexie Kite. They're currently working on their PhD's in Communication, studying representation of female bodies in popular media. They're Website is all about rethinking the idea of 'beautiful' and 'healthy' that we, as a society, have learned though the for-profit media that thrives off female insecurity. They've even started a billboard campaign where they've put this and other self-empowering slogans like "There is more to be than eye candy" for all to see. (Well, "all" in Utah, where they are located.)  


Again, isn't that awesome?


"You are capable of much more than being looked at." 


This needs to be posted everywhere. Because we woman DO need to hear this. There is SO MUCH more to you than just being pretty. And there's SO MUCH more to beauty than being pretty. Prettiness is the aesthetics. Beauty, however, is about taking pride in yourself, your WHOLE self. 


I remember having such a hard time with this concept of beauty when I was in high school. I did not feel beautiful. I felt invisible i.e. Samantha Baker in "Sixteen Candles." 


This changed in college. NOT magically but consciously. I begin to see everything I had to offer to the world- my sincerity, my calm demeanor, my sense of humor, my intelligence, etc. 


And I finally began to see that it was OK that I did not fit the desirable Latina stereotype- the curvaceous body and luscious long dark waves. 


I AM small and skinny with B-cup breasts. But I am BEAUTIFUL. I have a pretty face, great skin and I rock this pixie hair cut. Not to mention my awesome taste in shoes. 


I also began to see that it wasn't ME that was the problem. It was OTHER people- the media, peers, sometimes even family. Comments from the outside still hurt of course. But nowadays they're more like annoying mosquito bites rather than life threatening shark attacks.


Every woman is beautiful. And if she doesn't feel beautiful, then she MUST ask herself why. Don't avoid it, that'll only make it worse. How long have you felt this way? When did it start? Is it an outside source that's making you question yourself? Is this outside source based on fact or opinion? Are they telling you because they sincerely care or because it makes THEM feel better, makes them money, etc? Sincerity always trumps ego and profits.


Beauty is a never ending process that goes far beyond aesthetics. Again, it's about bettering your WHOLE SELF.


I repeat a third time: Isn't that awesome? 

Frustrated

I consider myself a good person. I think I'm understanding, have an over generous amount of patience and am generally a swell gal. (That's right, I DID just revert back to the 1950's and call myself a swell gal.) 


But THIS IS RIDICULOUS.


How long am I suppose to wait? It's been two months and I'm at a standstill at my job. The bureaucracy you have to deal with is amazing. How is an organization suppose to effect change when there's all this red tape you have to go through? This is the kind of stuff that makes me NOT want to go into non-profits in the future. 


It's a shame. There's SO many people who do need help out there. I guess after working years and years in this "industry," however, people start to lose sight of the good works they're suppose to be providing for their fellow man. I can understand HOW it happens but not how it can CONTINUE to happen. You have to get SOME kind of reminder. 


So very very frustrating. I hope things change.  


And I hope that this frustration doesn't kill my desire to continue on this path in the future.


For now, I'm giving myself until October. If things are still at a standstill after that, it's time to start getting serious about my other options.