This IS my life afterall...

I did it. I left my job.


Well, almost. I gave my two weeks notice. Everything went very smoothly when I announced I was leaving. The higher-ups understood my position and have wished me all the best. I am EXTREMELY lucky to be part of such a supportive collective.


I feel relief and am at total peace with my decision.


But I am a TAD bit worried. I am unemployed. In a bad job market.


Sort of. Although the unemployment rate is at 9 percent, the unemployment rate for those with bachelor's degrees is at 4.3 percent.


It might take a while but that's OK. I CAN DO THIS.


Short term goal: Get everything in line so that I can leave two to three weeks from now.


Long-short term goal: Find a job AND/OR look into furthering my education, if I deem it necessary.


Long-term goal: Be happy.

Frustrated

I consider myself a good person. I think I'm understanding, have an over generous amount of patience and am generally a swell gal. (That's right, I DID just revert back to the 1950's and call myself a swell gal.) 


But THIS IS RIDICULOUS.


How long am I suppose to wait? It's been two months and I'm at a standstill at my job. The bureaucracy you have to deal with is amazing. How is an organization suppose to effect change when there's all this red tape you have to go through? This is the kind of stuff that makes me NOT want to go into non-profits in the future. 


It's a shame. There's SO many people who do need help out there. I guess after working years and years in this "industry," however, people start to lose sight of the good works they're suppose to be providing for their fellow man. I can understand HOW it happens but not how it can CONTINUE to happen. You have to get SOME kind of reminder. 


So very very frustrating. I hope things change.  


And I hope that this frustration doesn't kill my desire to continue on this path in the future.


For now, I'm giving myself until October. If things are still at a standstill after that, it's time to start getting serious about my other options.  

What Are You Doing With Your Life?

I was thinking about this question yesterday. I was sitting at my desk, thinking about my life and what I want from it. I have no clear path and that bothers me to no end. I love, Love, LOVE goals. I love having something to be able to work towards, to strive for. I've been working my whole life, and it's disheartening to feel stuck. I know that I'm young and have my whole life to get to THAT place of meaningful purpose. But it's frustrating not knowing. It's frustrating wanting SO MUCH out of your life and working so hard in school and still feeling lost coming out. 


My job now is pretty good. I know that I'm working for a worthy cause. But I don't know if it's what I want to do dedicate myself, too. The same way I wasn't sure whether I wanted to be a reporter after working at my local newspaper for a couple of years. Because I know, deep down inside, I don't have what it takes to be a really good journalist. I don't have the grammatical skills (haha) or the drive you need to be a good newspaper reporter. You have to love your beat, whether it's politics, education, business, etc. I don't love any one thing that much to dedicate my life to it. (Well, except my family and my boyfriend, but that's besides the point.)  


I do miss writing though. God, I miss writing. That's why I started this blog. That's why I get this weird thrill when I get to write press releases at my job. (PRESS RELEASES people!) I feel RIGHT when I write. (That's right, I just rhymed and made a corny statement all in the same sentence.) That's why my dreams keep going back to writing. Could I try writing for blogs or magazines? Would you want me giving you tips on finances or health? Would you read an in depth piece on immigration by me? Could I be a copywriter and write the manuals you get with your vacuum cleaner or new espresso machine? Should I delve back into the creative stuff and try my hand at some short stories and make my way to that novel? 


Could I? I could. Should I? I really should. Will I? God, I hope so.